


You’re the closest to heaven (that I’ll ever be)

by starbuckx



Category: Timeless (TV 2016)
Genre: F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Wyatt says what we want him to say
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-21 05:34:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14278005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starbuckx/pseuds/starbuckx
Summary: Wyatt Logan had never considered himself to be a particularly smart man, but he’d always thought he wasn’t this dumb. Post 2x04 Fix-It fic of sorts, aka the reconciliation, aka the things we all want Wyatt to say.





	You’re the closest to heaven (that I’ll ever be)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheAlternativeSource](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAlternativeSource/gifts).



Wyatt Logan had never considered himself to be a particularly smart man, but he’d always thought he wasn’t this dumb.

Rufus had told him. Maybe the other timeline’s Agent Christopher and Jiya and even Mason would have done the same, except reality had shifted for them. But Rufus had told him, in words, and gestures, every time he even breathed in the same vicinity as Lucy, every time he wore what his friend had dubbed the “puppy dog face,” every time he tried to pretend that being with Jessica was the right choice.

If anything, at this point in his life, he should have learned better than to ignore Rufus Carlin.

Because yes, he, Wyatt Logan was completely, irrevocably, wholeheartedly in love with Lucy Preston. He knew it then, when Rufus first said it, he knew, but he didn’t really feel it. He didn’t understand what it was to ache for someone, to feel like your arms are tingling with the desire to touch her, like your head is always hurting and your heart is going to burst out of your chest, all because you can’t get close enough.

He didn’t understand that he loved her in a way he’d never loved Jessica, a way he’d never loved anyone, till he lost her.

No, he didn’t understand until he gave her up.

And that’s what made Wyatt the dumbest man on the planet. Not that it took too long for him to see if – TV would indicate there have been a lot of men in his place – but that once he got her, once he understood what it was like to feel at peace, to feel complete, he just let her go.

Just to go back to a past that had never truly made him happy.

The bunker was too small for long walks, but Wyatt felt like the road from Jessica to Lucy should be longer, harder. Like he shouldn’t be able to just tell his wife hey, you know what, I don’t love you anymore, and walk a few steps to knock on Lucy’s door.

Like he should walk through burning coals or something.

But Wyatt had never been a man to deny the inevitable, and he’d never been good at fooling himself, either. So when Rufus had entered the room, found him and Jessica sitting on opposite sides of the room, and just raised her eyebrows at him, he’d gotten the point.

Never let it be said that Wyatt Logan was a coward, no. He was just an idiot.

And so, that’s how he found himself in this moment and time, frozen in front of the door of the room Lucy and Jiya shared. He already knew he’d find her there alone, probably pouring over Nicolas Keynes’s ramblings again, or just staring at the ceiling as she’d taken to doing of late. He even knew what he wanted to say, what he needed to say.

He just didn’t know what he expected.

Forgiveness was probably too much to ask for. Friendship seemed like a possibility, but that was about it. He didn’t dare hope that she might still want him like she did before, not when he’d basically run back to Jessica. Not when he’d stared at her red-rimmed eyes for weeks and had kept himself from reaching for her.

Not when he’d chosen someone else.

And yet, what could he do but try? What could he offer but the truth? Even if he could never get her back, she deserved this from him, at least.

She deserved to know that he’d not truly made a choice as much as settled for the default.

He knocked on the doorframe before he could talk himself out of it, and the pause that followed was almost enough to make him turn back. The door was wide open, and though he couldn’t see into the room, he was sure she knew it was him. If there was one thing Lucy was attuned to, was everyone’s whereabouts.

Which meant she wasn’t opposed to company, she just didn’t want him to come into the room that had, in recent days, become a sanctuary, not from Rittenhouse or the world, but from him.

It hurt almost as much as the thought of not having her did.

“Can I just talk to you for a second?” He begged, because even if he couldn’t get the words out, seeing her had become as important as the air he was breathing. “Or, not talk, you don’t need to say anything, I just …I have something I need to say.” He couldn’t exist one more second without seeing her face. “I would just like for you to listen. Please”

He held his breath till she said come in.

She was sitting on the bed, crossed legged and stiff, wearing clothes that looked about twice as big on her as they’d looked last week, and all Wyatt wanted to do was hold her, forever. But he’d lost the right to do that. And if he wanted to, at least, get to a point where he could be her friend again, he needed to get through this conversation.

“I know this isn’t ...ideal,” he started, and he wanted to hit himself as she retreated even further into her cot. “Or even good. Or …us.” He walked a few steps till he was actually inside the room and not just hovering by the door. “But I just have something you need to hear. Something you …deserve to hear. And it doesn’t mean …I’m not expecting anything. I just want to say it. Out loud.”

“Say it.” Her voice was business Lucy, professor Lucy, and he couldn’t stand to hear that tone directed at him. “Whatever it is you need to say, say it …and just leave me be. Please.”

“I can’t. I mean, I should, and God, I’m a selfish bastard, Lucy, because I can’t just let you be.” He admitted, though this was not what he’d come to say, and it was certainly not the right way to start the conversation. “Or stop thinking about you. Or accept Flynn ever taking my place.”

“You made your choice.” She reminded him, and there was steel in her voice now as she stood to face him.

He paused. “I …I know. I know I did. But …”

“But what? You still want to be friends? I’m your friend, Wyatt; you don’t have to worry about that. Right now, though, I’m your friend that needs time to get over the fact that for a second she forgot she was something more than a friend. To forget that, for a second, she thought she was important.”

The openings, sometimes, present themselves in the most surprising ways. You’re planning to say one thing, and then another comes tumbling out in a way that surprises even you. Wyatt wanted to apologize. He wanted to say he would absolutely take being her friend, no pressure. Instead, what he said was:

“I think you are …I know you are the best thing that has happened to me. Not …not in the past few years, or …not after Jessica. Ever.”

Later, he’d think this was probably the best thing that could have come out of his mouth.

“Wyatt, I can’t do this.” The tears were not even pooling in her eyes; they were cascading down her cheeks. “I can’t listen to this and then let you go,” she continued, and her voice was almost a whisper. “Don’t make me.”

“Just …please.” He didn’t physically stop her. Two weeks ago, maybe he would have. Maybe he would have dared to touch her. He’d forfeited that right, though, and if he wanted it again, he had to earn it. “You need to listen to this. And I need to stay it. I really, really need to say it.”

He waited for the tiny nod to continue, and though she wasn’t meeting his eyes, he didn’t really need her to. Not yet. “I forgot. Or, I didn’t forget, I just got so caught up in fixing what I did wrong in the past, that I messed up again, in the here and now, by not telling you that. And I’m sorry, Lucy. I’m sorry for so many things, but the one thing that really eats at me is that you have walked around these past few weeks thinking that you are not the most important person in my life.”

Brown eyes met his, and there was a spark there, something that he wasn’t sure he’d get to see ever again. “I loved Jessica for so long that it didn’t occur to me I could ever exist without loving her, you know? I thought I could move on because she was dead, but when she was suddenly back I felt …well, I loved her before, I had to love her now, right?”

He shrugged, as if the realizations of the past two days were a weight lifted of his shoulders. “And a part of me does. I think a part of me will always do. But that man, the one who loved Jessica, and the one who belonged with her …I’m not that person anymore.” The distance between them felt like knifes against his side, so he moved one step closer, two. “I will never be that person again.”

“I don’t know what you’re saying,” she croaked, and though the tears had stopped, her face was still splotchy and red.

She was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“I’m saying I love you, Lucy Preston. I’m saying you are my future. I’m saying I’m done being an idiot, and I’m done hurting you and would you just …” his voice was the one that broke now, and it took a few seconds for him to find it again, to get the plea out. “Please, just give me another chance to show you.”

Lucy Preston had held strong when she’d lost her sister, when she’d found out who her biological father was, when she lost her mother. She’d even held strong when she lost Wyatt, when she had to see him every day with another woman. But the thought of getting him back was too much for her body to handle, and her knees gave out, she was too empty for this hope that seemed to now fill her chest.

She never touched the floor, though, because Wyatt’s hands were there to catch her, to hold her up, gentle hands that had already mapped her body more than once, but that, this time, once she seemed steady again, quickly retreated, as if he didn’t feel like he was entitled to the comfort she provided.

And maybe he wasn’t. Maybe she shouldn’t forgive him right away. Except, what had he done wrong other than try, as best as he could, to make everyone happy? How could she hold him responsible for the pain inside her heart and not give him a chance to soothe it away?

“Wyatt,” she tried to enunciate the worlds, but they came out like a litany. “Pleasedon’tletmego.”

Funny how he already had, but all her needed were her words to sweep her up again in his arms, not the gentle touch of before or even the passionate embrace of that one night they spent together, but a different kind of touch, one that spoke of desperation and yes, love.

“I couldn’t. I …I’m sorry, Luce, I am. I know I said it before, but I’ll say it a thousand times, more. Whatever you need. I should have seen it right away; I should have understood that you …you are the person I want to be with. You are the one that makes me happy. You are the one I choose. Always. Forever.”

The tears came back again, and she felt like her chest was going to explode, there was just too much inside her. “I… thought… I …lost …”

“No, no. I’m here. I’m here. I’m not leaving ever again, I promise you.” He said it like he could brand it on her skin and his; like this was the only promise he would ever keep in his life. Like nothing else would ever matter.

But the tears continued, hot and desperate, fear and hope finding their release together. Except, this time, Lucy had someone to cling to. This time, his hands rubbed circles on her back as she cried. This time, when she was spent, her head found that place on his neck that seemed to be made for her.

Only then, she noticed that he was still talking, that he’d never stopped. “...and a movie, but not one of those cheesy romantic ones, because we’ll be cheesy enough not to need the movie. We can do a classic, though, something you like. Maybe you could even sing to me again.”

She raised her head enough to stare at him. “What are you talking about?”

His smile could have powered the whole bunker for a good few weeks. “I’m making plans.”

“For us?”

He nodded, and the smile got impossibly bigger, so big that it was contagious. “For every day of our lives. Starting today.”

She finally let herself smile. “Do I get breaks or am I just stuck with you forever now?”

He fumbled a bit, as if he wasn’t sure if she was joking, as if he didn’t know that she loved him as much as he claimed to love her. As if the past two weeks had changed them forever and he didn’t know how to find solid ground. “I mean, whatever ….”

“I love you too.” Her voice was low, but sure. “So, much that I can’t breathe with how much I love you.” Yes, they’d changed in the past few weeks. But they were stronger for it. Better. “And it was killing me …”

His lips interrupted her, and she forgot what was killing her, she forgot her fear, she forgot her loneliness. She forgot about everything that wasn’t Wyatt’s strong arms on her back and his lips on hers.

Maybe there was hope for her. Maybe she could be someone’s choice.

“I’m sorry, Lucy. I’m sorry for the past few weeks,” he repeated again when they finally separated, and his eyes were pools of regret as she traced the lines of his face, as she let herself get reacquainted with his the touch and the feel and the taste of him, which only minutes before had been forbidden.

She wanted to tell him there was nothing to be sorry for, but the words were a balm on her soul. “I know.” And she did. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t scared. “Just …don’t leave me again.”

“Your wish is my command, Ma’am” he pulled her close, so close that he was speaking the words in the shell of her ear, so close that his breath was doing strange things to her insides.

But that was for later. For now, she let her eyes drift shut and allowed herself to live in this world where she, finally, came first.

_It felt really, really good._

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, Lyatt has inspired me to do this writing fic thing again. Not sure if I still remember how to, but here we go. 
> 
> Come tell me not to write more, or, alternatively, to keep doing it! You can find me on Twitter at @lizziethat. :)


End file.
